Goal 5

My Goals this Season:

1.) I will focus on MYSELF and what I am doing to help my team during jams.
2.) I will use my time as a Pivot to teach my team mates. If I am a blocker.  I will block. The end. 
3.) I will become a more effective one on one positional blocker. 
4.) I will become a more agile blocker, using big steps and cross overs to get where I need to be. 

And I'm adding a 5th:

5.) I will earn how to effectively hit with my hips. Not rely on my size to carry me through, and not rely on the easy shoulder pushes..because they are ineffective against seasoned players. Hips don't lie!

My first Fan! ..and Body Slam.

This was all so adorable that I can't even contain myself.

My teammate Manic Boom Bastic had this to say for her Facebook status today:

Mataea on her phone: so... That's why I won't be at practice tonight. Yup, talk to you later. Bye Spick. Me: Were you talking to Flik? Mataea: Well, yeah Spick. 

....Mataea is 3 years old. I can count that, right? Give the girl some chalk to play with, and she's a fan for life. Isn't that the greatest?

This next part was GREAT but...Phew...painful.  We had practice last night at Bernick's Arena, in preparation for our coming bout on 9/8.  The important part about this news is that means we were on concrete. Which is like 99.99 percent better for roller derby. Except when you fall. I fell. HARD.
I got knocked clear off my skates, into the air, only to land on left entire left side AT THE SAME TIME.  My left butt, back, shoulder and HEAD just BANG. I layer there in pain for a few minutes.
Even fetal positioned it for a spell. Wowzer. It was a good one. I clearly hit my head as I just wasn't RIGHT for awhile. Thankfully there was an eye doctor there who was able to confirm that I wasn't
in danger of concussion. It was just a hard core hurt.

But I'm better now...and the above referenced "fan" story makes it all worth it. :D

I Eat My Words

We recently held an informal league meeting. I was 100% incorrect in my last post when I said that 90% of the league has no clue how hard it is to be on the BoD. Honestly, I feel horrible that I even thought so low of my league. The BoD arrived around 30 minutes later than the rest of the team. I'll be honest, I really thought that we'd arrive and be TORN apart. I know that we have dropped the ball in communicating things timely, etc. But you know what- the girls were so incredibly supportive - they aren't angry that things aren't being handed down - they want to STEP up. This makes me so happy- in my last post I mentioned how Juke said it's so important to find a way for the girls to WANT to give, and not to require them to do it. Well- SCAR be stepping up. The only thing that the BoD really failed on was encouraging the girls to run with their projects. We got them signed up, but failed in the follow through of showing them that they really truly do own the league and that they have a VOICE.  Anyway--if any of you read this--I humbly apologize for underestimating you. You are the best. I <3 you. 

My Goals- 

A few posts ago I talked about my goals this Season. I feel like they are going well. I have to consciencly remind myself to think about ONLY me. I just need to say that when I do this successfully, I have the BEST practices. I am writing this 3.5 hours after practice and I'm still on a high. I jammed tonight because I WANTED to. I actually asked to Jam. Yeah- imagine that. It was just a scrimmage, safe environment and all, but...it wasn't awful. I think I gained a lot of confidence at boot camp and I'm slowly starting to see my abilities in this area improve. I also had few solid blocking moments. Our coach stepped in as a jammer a couple times (once for each team). I had at least one solid hit on him (he even said- nice hit!) and another where I was able to drive him out of bounds...now to learn not to cross the line myself! :D  I also had one epic hit on my derby bff Lola Frequency. I knocked her so hard right on her ass...WHILE I was jamming. Really. Does a night get any better that? I say no. 
Bottom line- I faced a lot of my fears tonight- instead of telling myself what I couldn't do- I focused on staying low and hitting solid and wonder of wonders, it worked.  Yes it did. Win. 

You have your Ups and your Downs

It's a really good feeling to represent and work for something bigger than self. It's no secret that I've been serving on the BoD of SCAR Dolls since the beginning of the year.  What is a secret to 90% of the league is that being on the BoD is hard work.  I am practically constantly thinking about the SCAR Dolls and what needs to be done next. Now that we finally have our first event (A Double Header Mixer- In Pink We Trust: Protect the Bust) on the calendar I am working overtime.  My "job" on the BoD is Production Chair and as such I am in the spotlight now. I've been to bouts that were not awesomely organized and it caused more than a little frustration for pretty much everyone involved. I am committed to making this inaugeral event a success. Thankfully, when I put out a project that I need help with, the girls are only to happy too help out! I have a wonderful, wondeful team.

And then there is the bull that we have to deal with on the BoD.  A.k.a. Derby Drama.  As of late it's been so high that we don't even have time to take care of and address the regular stuff...we are all tied up with the bull. Again, I am only too happy to know that the BoD stands pretty much solid in their goals and dreams for the league. They are also low on the B.S. and aren't afraid to hold up the Code of Conduct, even when the decision is hard. Thank you Rilda, Dita, Lola and Cruel! It has become clear to us that our new goal needs to be helping out team see that the league is FIRST. In all decisions. Being a Roller Girl means representing something bigger than self and each skater needs to be cognisent of it. Being a Roller Girl means representing something bigger than SCAR too. And that's huge. How we go about it, I don't know. Juke told us that we need to find a way to motivate our team so that they GIVE --- skaters are much happier when they can GIVE and not be told that HAVE to do it.

THE GREAT THINGS: 


MN Rollergirls All Star Bootcamp. Yeah.  I did it. No big deal.  It was 2 days - - 16 hours - - of straight awesomeness on skates.  The number one team in the region and I was in on it. My mind was blown. There were so many aspects of strategy that I've never even thought of. They pushed me to try and learn a few skill I had previously not been able to do- and they taught us a few plays that they like. We learned plays called "Cooter Cone" "Yeast Infection" "2 for 1" "Tampon" and "Swarm". I only hope I remember them well enough to apply to the team.

By far the best part was scrimmaging amongst some of the All Stars.  This meant I formed walls and worked with them. It also meant that I was playing AGAINST some of them and getting my rear handed to me.  My best memories were a few times where I felt like I was right where I needed to be to help these girls that I 100% look up to. Once I came up out of the pack to help Diamond Rough and once the same thing to help Hurturde Stein.  I mean, I'd get there and do what I needed to do and then be all "OMG..I'm playing with D Rough and Trudy" Breathe. Other All Star's to be found on my black team were Lexicuter, Citizen Paine and Naughty Kitty.  The white team housed Moto Fluzzi, Bully Jean, Second Hand Smoke, Scarman Hellectra and Shiver Me Kimbers.  I just...here I am 6 days later and I'm still riding high on this. I think it's because all of those women are so great. They are so friendly and encouraging.

Other Great Things:   We are bouting for real and having a BLAST.  I <3 Roller Derby.

This is my Team. I love them. All of them. 

I Feel Happy

I do.

I think I've finally found a happy balance between WORKING and PLAYING when it comes SCAR.
Our new BOD rocks, and our new committee heads are going to town doing whatever it is they are in charge of.  My Job(s):  Production Chair and Sponsorship Head.  I'm also on the budgeting committee.

There was a time when people seemed to always come to me for direction. I've successfully been able to mostly pull back from that "Mother Hen" description. The girls are learning who to go to for what, and I'm getting more comfortable with directing questions to the proper channels as opposed to answering them.

I am just so over the top proud of SCAR Dolls as a league. They are doing so many things RIGHT. It feels good and we are attracting players who drive from distances as far as 1.5 hours..just to play. We have a solid following already - 502 fans on FB!  We also have 4 or 5 refs that are solidly committed to the team. And did I mention we are only 8.5 months old?

On a more personal note---I think I've found a happy place in my mind re: derby. I feel ok pulling back and concentrating on ME and what I need to to become a better player. I think a lot has to do with the addition of other players who have experience (Cruel Ella SheKill, Rollz4Damage, and Rearview Mirra) and also a PT coach (Buster).  I don't feel the pressure to teach these girls EVERYTHING I know...because I know they are getting feedback all around now. I can breathe again!

I have made the following goals for myself for this season.

1.) I will focus on MYSELF and what I am doing to help my team during jams.
2.) I will use my time as a Pivot to teach my team mates. If I am a blocker.  I will block. The end. 
3.) I will become a more effective one on one positional blocker. 
4.) I will become a more agile blocker, using big steps and cross overs to get where I need to be. 

I can do this. I have an amazing support team. And I find myself much more happy when I worry about self. :D

This was a Triumph : : Huge Success

Amazing. That was my weekend. Wonderful road trip. Wonderful team. Wonderful derby. Wonderful W-I-N. Wonderful friends. Overstated? Not at all! 

SCAR Dolls had their very first full bout on Saturday. What I mean- is that our girls had randomly went to mixers where they play inter-mixed with other teams.  Saturday was the first time that we played as a team of 13- all together- relying only on each other and playing WITH each other. We won, sure- but I really think the high came from FEELING like we won too! We are clicking. We are executing the things we work on...and things are only going to go up from here. 

<3 you SCAR Dolls!

:: this is happiness ::

Oh! And I got a Tattoo!! I'm old enough to make that responsible decision- right? :D

A Good Place

Hello to my few readers. :D  Thank you to those of you who have continually pushed me to start blogging again. I think I'm finally in a place where I'm content with my Derby journey and will be able to start blogging after every practice again.

First- The Debs-
     Debs will always be what made the dream come true for me. I will aways look back and think of Hanna and Tiki in such a bright light that I'm pretty sure nothing could ever diminish it. And while I know that it is highly unlikely that either of them will ever stumble across my unpublished blog--in the event that they do-- Hanna Belle Lector and Tiki Torture-- I hope you have even an inkling of an idea of how wonderful you are! Thank you for your patience and encouraging words (and yes--even your yelling) when my inner Flik thought she could push no harder. I owe so much to you.
     There were also team mates who were always there to push and cheer me on. Above all others I can still hear MyrnaLush, Fannie T., BerNasty and Beretta. Thank you ladies. You each are responsible for getting me through one tough practice or another, I'm sure I didn't say it enough, but thank you.
     And lastly, but certainly not leastly (I don't care that it's not a word). My friends. Derby is like a family and while I know that any of my 60+ teammates would pretty much drop anything and come to my aide- there was definitely a smaller niche of friends that I fell into. They will forever be my derby bff's. So to you- Willie, Amelie, Jessie and Rebel- I love you and miss you like mad. I'm so happy to have had you along on this journey. Thank you for pushing me, crying with me, and never dying with me. :D

Second- The SCAR Dolls-
     Wow, where do I even begin? I have been through some great highs and some serious lows in our short 8 month existence.  I initially joined SCAR because it was the closest league to me. I was obviously attracted by the fact that it was a real derby league (vs. a rec league) too. I quickly found that SCAR was not going to be at all what I expected. I went in thinking I would skate. This was foolish me. When 20 girls get together to start a league and I am one of two who have any sort of derby experience, I get thrusted into a teaching position. This is extremely uncomfortable of for me because I know in the grand scheme of things...I am just a baby derby player. There is SO MUCH that I need to learn and work on myself.
     Those who know me well, know that I have always been extremely hard on myself. For me to be put in a teaching position only multiplied this pressure x10. Annnd...for those who know me-- you also know that I tend to jump in and DO ALL THE THINGS.  Also, leading training (about 60% of the time) also pulled me off my my ability to work on my skills...which only kept compounding the issue. I was trapped in a big nasty circle.  Argh to the nth degree. And that's all I'm going to say.
    Happy Notes-   This group of women are SO SO amazing. They have come to my aide and my defense more than once and I truly feel that I am part of a real community. They are there to support me when I doubt myself. For an 8 month old team we are doing so many things right. There are so many different women who are willing step up and do whatever they need to do to make this league succeed. I have been able step back from coaching and really have refocused on myself as a skater first, and teacher (where the opportunity arrises) second. I really held myself to this idea last practice and I was able to truly enjoy practice for the first time in many many months. I'm on the right track. I can do this with the help of these wonderful ladies.

Tomorrow: Our very first bout. 13 SCAR dolls vs. the IRM Attackonites. Not mixer, a bout. ooof.

There is no crying in roller derby.

****6/6/12****  *** I found this draft that never got published. It encompasses something that I think all girls go through as they skate. It was humbling to read this. My low point in derby. May I never revisit.***

There is no crying in roller derby-

Except...sometimes there is.

A couple of weeks ago a former teammate asked when I was going to blog again. I promised her I would and so I shall. I hadn't updated mostly because I've just been lackadaisical about updating.

The thing is though- that I've also had less than ideal (straight up crappy) practices. That day, after being prompted about writing again, I hit my lowest point EVER at practice. I think I've just hit a major brick wall with my skills. We did many alley cat drills of one variation or another that day and I failed at all of them. This isn't the normal oh-Flik-is-being-hard-on-herself-fail. This is the I-couldn't-stay-on-my-feet-to-save-my-life fail. I fell when I was blocking and I fell when I was jamming. I sucked. I straight up sucked and my spirits were broken. I don't cry. Not at movies. Not at weddings. Not when things aren't great. Never.

I cried.

I skated into the hallway into a far of corner and just sobbed. I don't expect miracles. I don't expect to be a great derby player. I just ask that my body do what my mind asks it to do.

And so I skipped practice the week after that. And the week after that. And now I'm just in a bad place all together. I need to go back. I know I do. Here's hoping my feet carry me where my mind tells them to go. For once.

Thanks for reading F.T.

I DID IT!!!!

The skill that has been the thorn in my side has been defeated. There will be no stopping me now. In order to bout one needs to pass all WFTDA (Women's Flat Track Derby Association) minimum skills. I finally passed my 25 laps in 5 minutes skill. Amazeballs. I have had the

other skills passed for ages now and have just been waiting for this high. Eighth time is a

charm...for sure! I know know what success feels like. Top that with the fact that I am FINALLY

playing with a REAL team (which means actual booting opportunities) and I think I am ok calling myself a Roller Girl. First bouts on the docket are 2/23 (Iowa) and 3/25 (Rochester).

In other newsy dolls are coming a long. We did an unofficial 25/5 last night and 80% of them easily passed. The ones that were a bit slow still had improved on their time. It's obvious that they are practicing on their own (open skate or what not) and that is so exciting.

A New Chapter

Thank-you to those who have nudged me to start blogging again. I am quite flattered that people care enough to give me the elbow. Thank you especially to Fannie Tanner and Jenuine.

My blogging drought has stemmed from lots of changes in my derby life. I'm still at it for sure. But I'm in a different place, a different role, and a different....world completely.

As recently as October I took on a night job. It absolutely conflicted with roller derby. I was working overnights. I'd go in 10:3opm (sometimes 3:3opm!!) and be awake all night until the shift was over at 8:30am. I'd drive straight home and with any luck I'd be asleep by 9:30am. Because I was commuting south for practice I'd have to be awake and on the road by 1pm. This schedule sucks, especially when you then ask your body to participate in a very rigorous 3 hour practice. I did this for about a month until I started really noticing my body just not responding like I knew it could. It wasn't doing what my mind asked it too. It was all so very....depressing. I'm not the type that cries. Like...ever. But one day at practice I just totally broke down, I skated off the track and into the hallway. I found a corner and just sobbed. Derby saved me in so many ways that I can even start to articulate it. It has made me stronger, more content, more confident, and just generally more happy. I DID NOT want to give up roller derby...I knew I would be lost- I would lose friendships, I would lose my ONLY form of exercise, I would lose..motivation. Truth.

So I went home that night a looked to see what other leagues were close to me up north. I would drive several hours if I had to in order to make it work. I already had a friend who lived 15 minutes away that was driving just over 2 hours to practice...maybe I could join her. Seriously. Derby is that GREAT. Lo and behold, I found a small team only 1.5 hours from me ( I had been driving 1 hr. 10 minutes). Their practice schedule worked. I wasn't terribly excited to lose out on the AWESOME-NEVER-GOING-TO-BE-SURPASSED training I was getting from MNRG (THANK YOU TIKI AND HANNA!! I OWE SO MUCH TO YOU!!!)...but at least I'd be playing. I started weighing my options and making the good old pros/cons list. That night I sat down to check Facebook and saw a post from one of my friends. It was a "informational" meeting for girls in my are who wanted to play roller derby. Right? Here I am in they turmoil about what to do when a league starts not 30 minutes from me. It's like the curtains opened. Whoopee!!

And so my new journey started. I am now a member of the S.C.A.R. Dolls. (Saint Cloud Area Roller Dolls). It's a different world all together. I find myself being the teacher (that's some scary shit right there) more than the teach-ee. But at the same time I'm excited...I'm already seeing girls passing me in skills...humbling stuff that is! I think before we know it we will have a good core of scrimmage ready girls and the derby stuff can commence. :D I haven't blogged about this because I've been in a weird place about losing seriously awesome training but gaining the real McCoy. It's not good. It's not bad. It just is...and I'm still wrapping my head around it.

Catching up.

I promised myself I'd always be on top of this and post after each practice. Today will involve two weeks worth of posts...but don't worry...it won't be too long. Honestly, there isn't really all that much to say.

WEEK ONE- So this week we practiced in the Xcel. We did stages like we always do in that area. The coaches allowed us to pick our groups 1-4 depending on our level of comfort. I put myself in 2. Even though I was scrimmage ready last session, I have also been off skates for too long and knew I was rusty. I was comfortable with the group I was in for all of the sessions although, admittedly, there were times where I think I should have moved myself up just to be sure I was challenged. I found out later that that top group did some one foot weaving and surly a few other things that would have been helpful in prepping for WFTDA skills testing. I left feeling OH SO HAPPY to be back skating. Man how I have missed it!!

WEEK TWO- My insurance for September didn't happen. So I was off skate. This sucked since the ENTIRE team was getting skill tested and I missed it. I know I can get tested next week...but it won't be nearly the same. There is something about suffering with teammates that makes it all bearable. I hope I'll be able to make it. 25 in 5...I WILL defeat you!

Crapping Bricks.

Well, we had our first official deb meeting. There are 32 returning girls and over 40 new girls. I left the meeting with mixed feelings. I Think mostly because I am so unsure of myself and my abilities. The good news is that we are going to 3 hour sessions. The first will be basically working on skills- agility, footwork, falls, starts, stops, endurance. 2nd is team work stuff. The 3rd hour is scrimmaging...with MNRG skaters. Great. Right? Except---we are no longer scrimmage ready and will have to test into it by passing WFTDA skills. I am freaking out about the 25 in 5. (Skate 25 laps around the derby track in 5 minutes or less). I have tried and failed at this three times in my derby life. Once was when I tried out for NSRG after only skating for 4 months. I got 23 laps in 5 minutes and fell once. The second was at an outside NSRG clinic. I got to 23 again- no falls- but it was outdoors and hot. The third time was last session for debs. We tested "just for our information". Again I fell, and again I fell short of the mark. I think by like 20 seconds. I feel gross and disgustingly out of shape when I have to do that test. And now that it has direct bareing on weather or not I get to keep scrimmaging just tears me up. My teammates are so supportive telling me I can do it...but...I really don't know. Especially after not skating this summer. I guess I'll just keep trying it every week until I get it. Right? Right.

Session 3

Hi everyone! It's been a long lonely summer without roller derby. In other news, it's been mad fun watching/hearing about some of my teammates go through bootcamp and eventually getting drafted onto the Minnesota Roller Girls. This Saturday officially will begin the fall session for 2011. This will be my third session. I have a lot of thoughts about this. 1.) I haven't been skating near as much as I should have been in the off season- mostly due to the fact that my skates were at Reidell getting fixed, must also because I've been lazy. 2.) This makes me very scared to start skating again, I'll obviously be out of shape and I hope I don't have to start over at ground ZERO again. 3.) I have been skating a few times and most recently (although I was mad sore for 2 days after) I felt like my skills were at or better than they were last year. 4.) WE GET TO GO TO A COUPLE MIXERS! This means we were invited to two smaller leagues to do some scrimmaging for the PUBLIC! Exciting and scary all at the same time. My mom and dad say they will come to Eau Claire to watch. I'm really excited to see what they think. As of right now I think they have some serious misconceptions about what roller derby really is. All for now..until Sunday. Whoop!

It's been a bit.

But that doesn't mean anything. Last time I posted I was riding high on my 30 second lead jammer status. Allow me to post a picture. Although it doesn't prove I was lead jammer...I think it was taken just off the line. This is an especially good one since you can't see how inappropriately tight my black scrimmage shirt is. (If you didn't read my last blog you don't know that I showed up to practice wearing pink when we were asked to wear our scrimmage colors. (Hey..I was out of the house since 9am!) Luckily I had a black undershirt..you know the one that is supposed to have a "slimming" effect...yeah..I needed help getting it on OVER my clothes..lol..). Anyway. Yeah. That was a serious highlight.

So now you are wondering...cool..so in May you had a seriously kickass practice and it's now July and we haven't heard a peep out of you. What gives? Well, my friends...I think I only had one or two practices after that lead jammer day and the apparently weren't super exciting since I didn't even remember to come back and blog about it. I know one those of us who weren't trying out ended up working with the new girls on basic skills..and you know what? That was actually really pretty fun. IT's fun to see how far I've come. We also had a GREAT banquet. I should post a picture of that too, right? Right? See here my WONDERFUL scrimmage team (plus some coaches). Now looking back at my pictures I'm getting a bit sad. I'm noticing that 7 of those girls made boot camp and a good percentage of them will make the team. 2 of those girls have moved. And..um..3 of those are coaches. That leaves...let's see...OH....5 of us left. LOL. It will be exciting to see how the team grows next year. Tiki said that if she has her way we will be traveling...yeah..exciting right? All for now...will be pretty quiet on the derby front since we are on the off season. Start again in August. My skates are currently getting fixed (I had some stitching come off) and I'll hopefully have them back soon so I can be good and ready for fall session. Whoooop. Debs.

Lead Jammer!!

OMG! Today's practice was simultaneously the most difficult and most fun practice of the session. :D I don't even know where to start it was so wonderful! This post is going it be a mess. The first thing I noticed when I got to practice was that there was way to many of the girls wearing black or white. This threw off big flags in my head because our scrimmage teams are black and white. (I'm on black. Whoot!!). I quickly asked about it and yes, Hanna had sent out an email asking the scrimmage girls to wear their colors. OOPS! I had been out of the house since 9am. I was adorned in BRIGHT PINK. Awesome. The good? thing is that I also had a black undershirt along that I had been wearing that day under a dress shirt. Practice started with ladder drills around a big track. We were practicing in the exhibit halls. Normally I hate it there because the floor is so slippery. After warm ups Betty found me and convinced me to change my wheels into some better once that she had brought for me to try. Yes, she really is just that awesome. When I first started skating I had the stock wheels that came on my Rock Flame skates. I quickly upgraded to Flat Outs which are 88a. I loved them and they pretty much got me through my first year of skating. Then I borrowed some old wheels from a friend of mine that were Interceptors- 93a. Coincidentally, she had also received them from Betty. Again, yes...Betty LaRude really is just that awesome. Lucky for me my friend wasn't quite ready to use wheels that were that hard and she graciously loaned them to me. Thanks Ferret! I used a full set of these for a month or so and even got new Red Bone bearings for them. (ABEC 7). Either I wasn't 100% ready for them, or they were just too slippery for me and so I created a hybrid set. Interceptor's on the outside, Flat Out's on the inside. This was great...until I developed a really annoying squeaking that followed me wherever I went. Turns out the old Interceptor wheels were breaking down and the rubber was slowly coming off the metal hubs. So I was left with ---go back to a full set of Flat Outs...or deal. I chose to deal. Well, last week Betty asked me what was squeaking and I told her and didn't think anything of it. That lady remembered me and brought me something new to try! While we were changing out my wheels I REALLY wanted to keep my flat outs on the inside and try the new wheels (Atom Grods with ABEC 9 bearing) on the outside. I remembered that a full set of interceptors was too much for me. She talked me into, or rather kind just went a head and put the full set of Grods on my skates. WOW! I stood up and INSTANTLY felt a difference. I don't' know if it was the bearings or the wheels by I felt like I was just gliding. I need me some of these. Thank you Thank you Thank you Betty!
We started practice with backwards skating/sprinting drills. And then sprinting/falling drills. Umm..when did I forget how to 4pt fall and (especially) sprawl? Its U.G.L.Y. I am going to need to work on these. Even my recovery was questionable. I seem to be able to handle the turn around falls and recover well. We then worked on jump turns. Now..you remember that the debs have worked on these twice and both times I missed. Once I was gone and the other I was off skates. I felt like an idiot. As we went though, I slowly got the hang of it. I definitely need to keep working on them, but they slowly became less...scary. I bail on the left turn from front to back EVERY time though, even with Tiki yelling "STOP THINKING and GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD." We then got to scrimmage!!!!!! I was so excited. Contemplated sitting out because of my ankle, but I'm so glad I didn't! I know I wasn't awesome at any of it. But..I also didn't feel quite so lost as I have in the past. It's hard because we don't' scrimmage very often so I feel like we forget stuff. But today we actually had a small ref team there calling majors. To my surprise I did not get called on one. When we were getting ready to start Tiki and Hanna told us that everyone had to Jam at least once. I think I've said before that I hate jamming. This body is not made for it. I'm slower than molasses half the time. Well, at one point Hanna handed me the jammer pantie and asked if I'd went yet. I was like...no..no I haven't. I waltzed my butt out to the jammer line mutter apologies to my black team under my breath. I've jammed before and don't' think I ever even made it out of the pack. I was actually quite terrified. Well, this time, no only made it out of the pack but I looked up at my ref and lo and behold she was giving the lead jammer sign. I think I audibly said "are you kidding me"? I certainly wasn't the first jammer out of the pack, but thankfully, it doesn't matter...I just had to be the first jammer out of the pack legally. :D I was stoked and then looked to see I was 1/2 a lap behind the pack..yeah...my experience as a blocker told me I'd never catch up. When I hear Hanna say "Flik you can call it off if you don't think you'll catch up before she (the white jammer) does". And..of course I did! After that jam I was just...happy. I guess derby does that for me. I told Hanna that I guess I'm just going to concentrate on marking it through the pack leagally every time I have to jam and then hope that the other jammer screws up or that my girls can push her out. And to my amazement Hanna laughed and said "That's what I do, I'm a horrible jammer". Sweet. So...my lead jammer status might have lasted all of 10 seconds....and I might not ever be lead jammer again. But I've done it. Put that feather in my cap! When we were done we had to 5 minutes of hell and it was...hellish. But also, not as hellish as I've experienced in the past. Maybe I'm getting better. Maybe Betty's wheels were just that wonderful. Maybe a combo of the two? We then ended with 5 minutes of core. One exercise for every 1 minutes. Sit Ups, Mountain Climbers, Plank, Sit ups. They blew the final whistle and at least 8 of us just laid there. We were all so tired. I love my debs. I love my scrimmage team. I love my coaches. I LOVE DERBY. Yep.


OH! Also...as per my blog from the last time we scrimmaged...you know..the one where I was practically in tears because I took out MY OWN jammer twice? The one where I made my new goal of taking out the white jammer at least once.? Well..I failed. HOWEVER...and I verified this with two of the girls who jammed. I DIDN'T get in their way. victory! I am improving. Yipee.

Sprints, and Endurance, and Barrel Rolls! Oh my!!

I am in love with roller derby. Every practice I love it more and more. Highlight of Sundays practice was easily barrel rolls. Picture yourself skating as fast you can and then throwing your self to the (concrete) ground only to roll and get up and spring again. Yeah..it's as scary as it sounds. And, YEAH it's as fun as it sounds! Lowlight of Sundays practice was easily getting yelled at (three times) by two different coaches. When I say yell I mean picked out of the entire group for extra..erhm....encouragement. I mean that....I actually secretly love the one on one attention even if I feel like crap for being picked out. It also sucked cuz I think they forget sometimes that I'm nursing an ankle injury. BUT...I don't' want to be the girl that uses that as an excuse...and so I endure. The ankle is getting better every week and I just HOPE it will soon be pain free. It really only bugs me now on turns/weaving, etc. I also take it easy on it when doing any predictable fast work with it....we worked on turn around falls/sprints today (relay style) and I didn't get up as fast as I probably could cuz I didn't want to risk tweaking my ankle. Thankfully my teammates still love me. I hope.
I spent Saturday night at my teammate's house and she graciously helped me wrap my ankle, so it was much more snug than I'm able to do on my own and I think it really helped. So...thanks Jessperate Measures! :D Warm ups today were actually quite easy we were just allowed to free skate around the concourse. This was also where I got yelled at the first time for not staying in derby stance. I need it. I welcome it. I just...ugh. You know? It pretty much sucks being told to get in derby stance when you already think you are! HA. We then met as a group and were told that today was going to be the hardest practice of this session and that we were really going to be pushed. We were encouraged to sit out what we needed too and really listen to our bodies. We broke into 6 "teams". 1st drill was a fast skate around the concourse and then pushing the next girl in your group. Then we went over to the side and did core work. (10 push ups, 20 sit ups, 30 mountain climbers, 40 flutter kicks). This went OK for me. I was nervous about pushing the girl behind me and knocking her over (she's a new skater this session) but she took it like a champ ...got a bit wobbly, but didn't fall. The next 2 drills were the same line/teams. Smaller distance but sprinting to a single knee turn around fall, get up and sprint back to the line and snow plow to a stop before the next person could go. Then we did it again but this time double knee falls turn around. Then we lined up again for another full concourse drill. This time we were to skate as fast we could for TWO laps and then snow plow stop from the fast pace before the next person could go. I was first in line...and wow...this was a low point of the practice. I know I'm not fast. I also know I have poor endurance. But it's embarrassing for the whole team to see it. I was a good 20 feet behind the other 5 girls I raced against on the first lap and had dropped to a good 30 feet by the time my 2nd was done. This is where I got yelled at for the 2nd time...by Tiki...which always seems to smart worse than if any of the other coaches say anything. Oh..and plus the WHOLE TEAM heard it. I come through skating as fast as my slow-ass-healing-ankle-self can push myself and I hear "Dig deep Flik, I know you can push harder than that". When we were done with the two laps we then had to do more core this time it was (10 push ups, 30 sit ups, 40 mountain climbers, 40 flutters). Thankfully this was the end of the endurance portion of practice. We then broke up in to 3 mixed groups. Wet Spot always likes to let us line up from most comfortable to least comfortable meaning the girls you are with are at the same skating level as you more or less. Tiki likes to line up and count off which makes for pretty even teams all around. The first group was with Lydia. We worked on tight turns around cones, hockey stops, and wide weaving. Hanna was there for the first part and was able to pick out what some of my problems are so I have something to work on, so that's nice. Second group was Tiki and BARREL ROLLS! OMG awesome. Third group was Betty where we worked on weaving forwards and backwards, one foot and two feet. Also did a little turning. Then we got together for one last endurance drill. Sticky skating behind Tiki trying to keep pace. I SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED at this. Seriously. I had no business being as slow as I did. There was a time when i lost sight of the entire group. Sure there might have been a few stragglers behind me but I am so....just...hard on myself. My endurance is down cuz I haven't been able to push myself and I just feel like such a failure these days at practice. But...alas, by the time I got home I (we ..the whole team) had an awesomely encouraging email in our in boxes from Tiki. It is ours to have and to hold and I'm not embarrassed to say that I've read it about 8 times already. In fact. I am going to post it here so I will always have it.

"You ladies blew me away. Our drills were really difficult and everyone pushed themselves harder than I could have asked. Honestly, the league could only hope to get girls as amazing as you all are.

I know that some people struggled with certain skills. I also know that when we struggle we can beat ourselves up (myself included). Please believe me when I say you women have come so very far and you look like real Roller Derby players (ALL of you). I am so proud.

Whew, what a group.

Thank you for making this so rewarding.

Hugs and slugs,
Tiki"

Yeah, I guess that's probably why I hate to get yelled at by her. We all do! She's just that awesome.

To sum it up this practice rocked my socks of in so many ways. And...did I mention I love roller derby?

05/01/11- Sunday at the Xcel

Another Debs practice under my belt. A last minute change left us in the Xcel concourse again. Not that it's a bad thing...at all! Although, I will say they tend to be a bit easier practices because more often than not it is station work. I actually arrived at practice right on time (which actually makes one late) due to getting a late start on my 1 HOUR COMMUTE and then having to stop and get some athletic tape for my ankle. I wanted to see if taping my ankle would help it at all. I missed warm ups all together ...which I'm kinda thankful for. Tiki took everyone around the concourse several times and every one had to follow what she did. Falls, sprints, jumps, knee taps, etc. Gross. Then we did stretches...or rather they did stretches. There was also an announcement that I totally missed (and forgot to ask about) in which everyone cheered. I did catch the very end of it and can only assume we are having some sort of end of the session party which will be fun.

I once again lined myself up at the "less confident" end of the line. I will not be doing this again. Mainly because I have a hard time dealing with the work ethic that some of the girls (SOME..not ALL) have at that end of the line. It's hard to keep pushing around them. My ankle thanked me, I'm sure...but I can also just sit out with the harder drills if I put myself in the middle or upper group. Station one was Wet Spot. We did some jazzersize and then worked on weaving. Normally I'm a champ at this but my ankle does hold me back more than I'd like. He also worked on hockey stops...i wasn't able to attempt these at all. Next was Betty. She worked on weaving pace lines. This is where I really noticed that even at my debilitated (thank you spell check) state I should probably still be in the middle group. It was alright...I worked on my "dont' be a douchebag" skills. I also tried to concentrate on myself...staying in derby stance. My back feels it today, so I know I did good with it. Betty also had us weave backwards which initially sounded horrifying, but turns out it's way easier than it sounds or even looks. Station 3 was Hanna. We worked on pushes. This is something I had worked on pretty seriously during another practice but know that the girls I was with hadn't. It was really fun to see their responses and smiles. I got a glimpse of what Hanna, Lydia, Tiki, WS, and Betty must feel every week watching us discover different skills. We also started to learn whips. Heck yeah!! Then we all worked on endurance together. We were told to skate around and they'd tell us when to stop (which meant we had no idea how long we'd go for). First lap sticky skate, 2nd sprint...alternation. Holy crap!! Feel the burn. Remember...we were at the Excel Energy Center..skating around the concourse. Not just a derby track. Turns out 8 minutes later we were done. Hanna said at try outs they make you do 10 minutes of hell which is 10 minutes of sprinting on the derby track. Ugh!

Me. Out.

Ankle Whoas

Yesterday I attempted dry land all on my own. I had to skip the tuck jumps and the left lunges and the burpees. All great stuff for my legs. My ankle is still...not functioning. I can feel the arm workout today though, so it was worth it if even just for that. I also recently tried skating outside on the driveway and quickly felt so much pain I had to stop after two trips down and back. This is just...defeating. There is only a month or so left of DT's and I have this lingering injury. Sunday will be 5 weeks. 5 weeks of longingly looking at my skates. Everyone told me that ankle sprains/strains (I'm not really SURE what I did since I didn't go to the doctor) are along rehab. Right now I ask myself if I should try skating at practice Sunday...we will be back with Tiki (I assume) and it could be...HARD. Since she missed the last one we had and then we had Easter off. *shrug*

I skipped a week...but I'm baaaaack.

Total time off skates during ankle injury= 3 weeks. Not bad right? I absolutely babied my ankle and every day it got a bit better. I had to attend one skating practice in my tennis shoes and it nearly tore me part. We did tons of hitting and jumping and I really feel I am set behind because I missed it. One thing that I learned just from listening is a hing for timing hits. I need to remember or piciture myself taking her place. Not just hitting the front of her or whatever....if I picture myself taking her place, then I'm not going to miss. I hope this helps once I get back into the swing of hitting. The upside is that WS and Betty were absolutely encouraging (not a surprise, seriously) in my decisions to not skate until I felt my ankle was 100% better. At that point I couldn't even walk pain free..although I wasn't limping. This week, although I'm still experiencing pain, I strapped my skates on and started with some light skating. My girls were all so encouraging and happy to see me back on skates. More than one teammate is dealing with overcoming an ankle injury as well, so it's nice(?) to have people who relate to what I'm going through. We were in the Xcel concourse this week so we did the usual station work. This was nice, because it was lower impact than a normal Tiki practice. It was a really good first practice for me (post injury). We started with 10 laps around the concourse. Ideally WS wanted alternating 100% with 80%. I started slow- turtle slow, and kept increasing my speed on each lap. The happy shouts I got from my teammates were great. To my surprise my ankle started feeling better as I skated and picked up speed, and not worse. My teammate Bus suggested that my ankle is probably at the "heat" stage of healing...meaning warming it up really helps. I made it to 5 laps when all were done with 10. Not bad since I had started out so slow. I caught the end of stretching before we were told to line up in from most comfortable to least comfortable. This was interesting. I'm one of about 20 scrimmage ready girls (there are about 80 debs total) and I wandered over to the "least comfortable" end of the line. I knew I needed to start slow and build up my ankle strength again and I figured working on basics with the new girls was where I belonged. Low and behold there were two of my fellow ankle rehab girls down there. It was quite funny. We started with fast feet stuff. I did most of it modified and VERY controlled lest I tweak my ankle again. We then moved on to stopping. I was able to do most of this and actually did a lot more than I thought I'd be able to do at this point in my healing. I even did some turn around toe stop stops....very carefully at first. I did some snow plows...which i am thankful for. I was doing a fast hard snow plow when I hurt myself, so it was good to get "back on the horse" as they say. After that was sticky skating and a lot of pace line work. All good basic stuff all around. I iced my ankle good and took some Ibuprofen after. During the drive home I was constantly wondering if I pushed it too far and if I'd be in pain the next day. I'm here to say as of 10:34pm Monday night my ankle is no worse for the the wear. If anything the skating helped it. Bus gave me some more stretches to do over the next week or two (we have no practice Easter Sunday) and boy, I can't wait until I'm totally pain free. Practice was a win. Practice is always a win. Life is good.

I have an injury. :(

This week was skate practice. YIPEE! I live for these and always have fun. Warm ups always suck. Always. But I always tell myself that if I get through those then the fun starts. Today was a hit heavy practice. We played queen of the rink with Vue (VueDoo Prodigy of MNRG) and Tiki. Lydia (Lydia Punch of MNRG) and a few other vets soon joined in. I'm quite sure the vets aren't hitting us as hard as they can YET, but it was fun to see some fellow Debs (Amelie and Lush) lay down some hits that took out a vet or two! Debu-Taunts were invited to do Queen of the Rink for the preshow on MNRG's April 2nd bout. WHAT an honor! I guess it's linked up to some kind of meat raffle and it should prove to be entertaining! Only those who were scrimmage ready were allowed to sign up. Yeah for hard work paying off! I signed up for an extra practice- i.e. clinic- after our 2 hour hard practice. I knew that skills would be broke down and I knew that I had a few that I was hoping to get some good feedback on. One is snow plows and the other was left knee taps. We spend time initially (after warm ups on and off skates) on cross overs and stride. Kimbers (Shiver Me Kimbers of MNRG) worked with my group of 3-4 and I think I finally realized that I "get" cross overs, and need to stop being so wussy about them. She said my from is good, I'm digging in with both legs. Now I just need to make myself DO THEM. We did cross overs skating the wrong direction. I can do them but, man, are they U.G.L.Y. Next station my group went to was Wet Spot and we worked on stopping. I.E. Snow plows! Something he said clicked with me. And I think it's because Tiki kinda yelled at us today saying we all need to work on them cuz it shouldn't take us 5 feet to stop. She's right. But it's just so darn hard!. Anyway..I finally got the where to push from (wheelwise) so I was really pushing myself...sprinting and then cranking out a stop. BAM..I roll an ankle. It was like pain I've not felt in my adult life. I had to get all first respondered up and everything. Ump was on duty and fixed me up good. I AM SO DISAPPOINTED THAT I WILL PROBABLY NOT BE ABLE TO DO THE PRESHOW!!!! Stupid Ankle. Stupid me for pushing it. As of now I'm laying low. Trying not to walk on it and trying to baby it. I don't want to miss practice on Sunday too. :(