This was all so adorable that I can't even contain myself.
My teammate Manic Boom Bastic had this to say for her Facebook status today:
Mataea on her phone: so... That's why I won't be at practice tonight. Yup, talk to you later. Bye Spick. Me: Were you talking to Flik? Mataea: Well, yeah Spick.
....Mataea is 3 years old. I can count that, right? Give the girl some chalk to play with, and she's a fan for life. Isn't that the greatest?
This next part was GREAT but...Phew...painful. We had practice last night at Bernick's Arena, in preparation for our coming bout on 9/8. The important part about this news is that means we were on concrete. Which is like 99.99 percent better for roller derby. Except when you fall. I fell. HARD.
I got knocked clear off my skates, into the air, only to land on left entire left side AT THE SAME TIME. My left butt, back, shoulder and HEAD just BANG. I layer there in pain for a few minutes.
Even fetal positioned it for a spell. Wowzer. It was a good one. I clearly hit my head as I just wasn't RIGHT for awhile. Thankfully there was an eye doctor there who was able to confirm that I wasn't
in danger of concussion. It was just a hard core hurt.
But I'm better now...and the above referenced "fan" story makes it all worth it. :D
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
I Eat My Words
We recently held an informal league meeting. I was 100% incorrect in my last post when I said that 90% of the league has no clue how hard it is to be on the BoD. Honestly, I feel horrible that I even thought so low of my league. The BoD arrived around 30 minutes later than the rest of the team. I'll be honest, I really thought that we'd arrive and be TORN apart. I know that we have dropped the ball in communicating things timely, etc. But you know what- the girls were so incredibly supportive - they aren't angry that things aren't being handed down - they want to STEP up. This makes me so happy- in my last post I mentioned how Juke said it's so important to find a way for the girls to WANT to give, and not to require them to do it. Well- SCAR be stepping up. The only thing that the BoD really failed on was encouraging the girls to run with their projects. We got them signed up, but failed in the follow through of showing them that they really truly do own the league and that they have a VOICE. Anyway--if any of you read this--I humbly apologize for underestimating you. You are the best. I <3 you.
My Goals-
A few posts ago I talked about my goals this Season. I feel like they are going well. I have to consciencly remind myself to think about ONLY me. I just need to say that when I do this successfully, I have the BEST practices. I am writing this 3.5 hours after practice and I'm still on a high. I jammed tonight because I WANTED to. I actually asked to Jam. Yeah- imagine that. It was just a scrimmage, safe environment and all, but...it wasn't awful. I think I gained a lot of confidence at boot camp and I'm slowly starting to see my abilities in this area improve. I also had few solid blocking moments. Our coach stepped in as a jammer a couple times (once for each team). I had at least one solid hit on him (he even said- nice hit!) and another where I was able to drive him out of bounds...now to learn not to cross the line myself! :D I also had one epic hit on my derby bff Lola Frequency. I knocked her so hard right on her ass...WHILE I was jamming. Really. Does a night get any better that? I say no.
Bottom line- I faced a lot of my fears tonight- instead of telling myself what I couldn't do- I focused on staying low and hitting solid and wonder of wonders, it worked. Yes it did. Win.
My Goals-
A few posts ago I talked about my goals this Season. I feel like they are going well. I have to consciencly remind myself to think about ONLY me. I just need to say that when I do this successfully, I have the BEST practices. I am writing this 3.5 hours after practice and I'm still on a high. I jammed tonight because I WANTED to. I actually asked to Jam. Yeah- imagine that. It was just a scrimmage, safe environment and all, but...it wasn't awful. I think I gained a lot of confidence at boot camp and I'm slowly starting to see my abilities in this area improve. I also had few solid blocking moments. Our coach stepped in as a jammer a couple times (once for each team). I had at least one solid hit on him (he even said- nice hit!) and another where I was able to drive him out of bounds...now to learn not to cross the line myself! :D I also had one epic hit on my derby bff Lola Frequency. I knocked her so hard right on her ass...WHILE I was jamming. Really. Does a night get any better that? I say no.
Bottom line- I faced a lot of my fears tonight- instead of telling myself what I couldn't do- I focused on staying low and hitting solid and wonder of wonders, it worked. Yes it did. Win.
Friday, July 27, 2012
You have your Ups and your Downs
It's a really good feeling to represent and work for something bigger than self. It's no secret that I've been serving on the BoD of SCAR Dolls since the beginning of the year. What is a secret to 90% of the league is that being on the BoD is hard work. I am practically constantly thinking about the SCAR Dolls and what needs to be done next. Now that we finally have our first event (A Double Header Mixer- In Pink We Trust: Protect the Bust) on the calendar I am working overtime. My "job" on the BoD is Production Chair and as such I am in the spotlight now. I've been to bouts that were not awesomely organized and it caused more than a little frustration for pretty much everyone involved. I am committed to making this inaugeral event a success. Thankfully, when I put out a project that I need help with, the girls are only to happy too help out! I have a wonderful, wondeful team.
And then there is the bull that we have to deal with on the BoD. A.k.a. Derby Drama. As of late it's been so high that we don't even have time to take care of and address the regular stuff...we are all tied up with the bull. Again, I am only too happy to know that the BoD stands pretty much solid in their goals and dreams for the league. They are also low on the B.S. and aren't afraid to hold up the Code of Conduct, even when the decision is hard. Thank you Rilda, Dita, Lola and Cruel! It has become clear to us that our new goal needs to be helping out team see that the league is FIRST. In all decisions. Being a Roller Girl means representing something bigger than self and each skater needs to be cognisent of it. Being a Roller Girl means representing something bigger than SCAR too. And that's huge. How we go about it, I don't know. Juke told us that we need to find a way to motivate our team so that they GIVE --- skaters are much happier when they can GIVE and not be told that HAVE to do it.
THE GREAT THINGS:
MN Rollergirls All Star Bootcamp. Yeah. I did it. No big deal. It was 2 days - - 16 hours - - of straight awesomeness on skates. The number one team in the region and I was in on it. My mind was blown. There were so many aspects of strategy that I've never even thought of. They pushed me to try and learn a few skill I had previously not been able to do- and they taught us a few plays that they like. We learned plays called "Cooter Cone" "Yeast Infection" "2 for 1" "Tampon" and "Swarm". I only hope I remember them well enough to apply to the team.
By far the best part was scrimmaging amongst some of the All Stars. This meant I formed walls and worked with them. It also meant that I was playing AGAINST some of them and getting my rear handed to me. My best memories were a few times where I felt like I was right where I needed to be to help these girls that I 100% look up to. Once I came up out of the pack to help Diamond Rough and once the same thing to help Hurturde Stein. I mean, I'd get there and do what I needed to do and then be all "OMG..I'm playing with D Rough and Trudy" Breathe. Other All Star's to be found on my black team were Lexicuter, Citizen Paine and Naughty Kitty. The white team housed Moto Fluzzi, Bully Jean, Second Hand Smoke, Scarman Hellectra and Shiver Me Kimbers. I just...here I am 6 days later and I'm still riding high on this. I think it's because all of those women are so great. They are so friendly and encouraging.
Other Great Things: We are bouting for real and having a BLAST. I <3 Roller Derby.
And then there is the bull that we have to deal with on the BoD. A.k.a. Derby Drama. As of late it's been so high that we don't even have time to take care of and address the regular stuff...we are all tied up with the bull. Again, I am only too happy to know that the BoD stands pretty much solid in their goals and dreams for the league. They are also low on the B.S. and aren't afraid to hold up the Code of Conduct, even when the decision is hard. Thank you Rilda, Dita, Lola and Cruel! It has become clear to us that our new goal needs to be helping out team see that the league is FIRST. In all decisions. Being a Roller Girl means representing something bigger than self and each skater needs to be cognisent of it. Being a Roller Girl means representing something bigger than SCAR too. And that's huge. How we go about it, I don't know. Juke told us that we need to find a way to motivate our team so that they GIVE --- skaters are much happier when they can GIVE and not be told that HAVE to do it.
THE GREAT THINGS:
MN Rollergirls All Star Bootcamp. Yeah. I did it. No big deal. It was 2 days - - 16 hours - - of straight awesomeness on skates. The number one team in the region and I was in on it. My mind was blown. There were so many aspects of strategy that I've never even thought of. They pushed me to try and learn a few skill I had previously not been able to do- and they taught us a few plays that they like. We learned plays called "Cooter Cone" "Yeast Infection" "2 for 1" "Tampon" and "Swarm". I only hope I remember them well enough to apply to the team.
By far the best part was scrimmaging amongst some of the All Stars. This meant I formed walls and worked with them. It also meant that I was playing AGAINST some of them and getting my rear handed to me. My best memories were a few times where I felt like I was right where I needed to be to help these girls that I 100% look up to. Once I came up out of the pack to help Diamond Rough and once the same thing to help Hurturde Stein. I mean, I'd get there and do what I needed to do and then be all "OMG..I'm playing with D Rough and Trudy" Breathe. Other All Star's to be found on my black team were Lexicuter, Citizen Paine and Naughty Kitty. The white team housed Moto Fluzzi, Bully Jean, Second Hand Smoke, Scarman Hellectra and Shiver Me Kimbers. I just...here I am 6 days later and I'm still riding high on this. I think it's because all of those women are so great. They are so friendly and encouraging.
Other Great Things: We are bouting for real and having a BLAST. I <3 Roller Derby.
 |
| This is my Team. I love them. All of them. |
Sunday, July 8, 2012
I Feel Happy
I do.
I think I've finally found a happy balance between WORKING and PLAYING when it comes SCAR.
Our new BOD rocks, and our new committee heads are going to town doing whatever it is they are in charge of. My Job(s): Production Chair and Sponsorship Head. I'm also on the budgeting committee.
There was a time when people seemed to always come to me for direction. I've successfully been able to mostly pull back from that "Mother Hen" description. The girls are learning who to go to for what, and I'm getting more comfortable with directing questions to the proper channels as opposed to answering them.
I am just so over the top proud of SCAR Dolls as a league. They are doing so many things RIGHT. It feels good and we are attracting players who drive from distances as far as 1.5 hours..just to play. We have a solid following already - 502 fans on FB! We also have 4 or 5 refs that are solidly committed to the team. And did I mention we are only 8.5 months old?
On a more personal note---I think I've found a happy place in my mind re: derby. I feel ok pulling back and concentrating on ME and what I need to to become a better player. I think a lot has to do with the addition of other players who have experience (Cruel Ella SheKill, Rollz4Damage, and Rearview Mirra) and also a PT coach (Buster). I don't feel the pressure to teach these girls EVERYTHING I know...because I know they are getting feedback all around now. I can breathe again!
I have made the following goals for myself for this season.
1.) I will focus on MYSELF and what I am doing to help my team during jams.
2.) I will use my time as a Pivot to teach my team mates. If I am a blocker. I will block. The end.
3.) I will become a more effective one on one positional blocker.
4.) I will become a more agile blocker, using big steps and cross overs to get where I need to be.
I can do this. I have an amazing support team. And I find myself much more happy when I worry about self. :D
I think I've finally found a happy balance between WORKING and PLAYING when it comes SCAR.
Our new BOD rocks, and our new committee heads are going to town doing whatever it is they are in charge of. My Job(s): Production Chair and Sponsorship Head. I'm also on the budgeting committee.
There was a time when people seemed to always come to me for direction. I've successfully been able to mostly pull back from that "Mother Hen" description. The girls are learning who to go to for what, and I'm getting more comfortable with directing questions to the proper channels as opposed to answering them.
I am just so over the top proud of SCAR Dolls as a league. They are doing so many things RIGHT. It feels good and we are attracting players who drive from distances as far as 1.5 hours..just to play. We have a solid following already - 502 fans on FB! We also have 4 or 5 refs that are solidly committed to the team. And did I mention we are only 8.5 months old?
On a more personal note---I think I've found a happy place in my mind re: derby. I feel ok pulling back and concentrating on ME and what I need to to become a better player. I think a lot has to do with the addition of other players who have experience (Cruel Ella SheKill, Rollz4Damage, and Rearview Mirra) and also a PT coach (Buster). I don't feel the pressure to teach these girls EVERYTHING I know...because I know they are getting feedback all around now. I can breathe again!
I have made the following goals for myself for this season.
1.) I will focus on MYSELF and what I am doing to help my team during jams.
2.) I will use my time as a Pivot to teach my team mates. If I am a blocker. I will block. The end.
3.) I will become a more effective one on one positional blocker.
4.) I will become a more agile blocker, using big steps and cross overs to get where I need to be.
I can do this. I have an amazing support team. And I find myself much more happy when I worry about self. :D
Monday, June 11, 2012
This was a Triumph : : Huge Success
Amazing. That was my weekend. Wonderful road trip. Wonderful team. Wonderful derby. Wonderful W-I-N. Wonderful friends. Overstated? Not at all!
SCAR Dolls had their very first full bout on Saturday. What I mean- is that our girls had randomly went to mixers where they play inter-mixed with other teams. Saturday was the first time that we played as a team of 13- all together- relying only on each other and playing WITH each other. We won, sure- but I really think the high came from FEELING like we won too! We are clicking. We are executing the things we work on...and things are only going to go up from here.
<3 you SCAR Dolls!
Oh! And I got a Tattoo!! I'm old enough to make that responsible decision- right? :D
:: this is happiness ::
Friday, June 8, 2012
A Good Place
Hello to my few readers. :D Thank you to those of you who have continually pushed me to start blogging again. I think I'm finally in a place where I'm content with my Derby journey and will be able to start blogging after every practice again.
First- The Debs-
Debs will always be what made the dream come true for me. I will aways look back and think of Hanna and Tiki in such a bright light that I'm pretty sure nothing could ever diminish it. And while I know that it is highly unlikely that either of them will ever stumble across my unpublished blog--in the event that they do-- Hanna Belle Lector and Tiki Torture-- I hope you have even an inkling of an idea of how wonderful you are! Thank you for your patience and encouraging words (and yes--even your yelling) when my inner Flik thought she could push no harder. I owe so much to you.
There were also team mates who were always there to push and cheer me on. Above all others I can still hear MyrnaLush, Fannie T., BerNasty and Beretta. Thank you ladies. You each are responsible for getting me through one tough practice or another, I'm sure I didn't say it enough, but thank you.
And lastly, but certainly not leastly (I don't care that it's not a word). My friends. Derby is like a family and while I know that any of my 60+ teammates would pretty much drop anything and come to my aide- there was definitely a smaller niche of friends that I fell into. They will forever be my derby bff's. So to you- Willie, Amelie, Jessie and Rebel- I love you and miss you like mad. I'm so happy to have had you along on this journey. Thank you for pushing me, crying with me, and never dying with me. :D
Second- The SCAR Dolls-
Wow, where do I even begin? I have been through some great highs and some serious lows in our short 8 month existence. I initially joined SCAR because it was the closest league to me. I was obviously attracted by the fact that it was a real derby league (vs. a rec league) too. I quickly found that SCAR was not going to be at all what I expected. I went in thinking I would skate. This was foolish me. When 20 girls get together to start a league and I am one of two who have any sort of derby experience, I get thrusted into a teaching position. This is extremely uncomfortable of for me because I know in the grand scheme of things...I am just a baby derby player. There is SO MUCH that I need to learn and work on myself.
Those who know me well, know that I have always been extremely hard on myself. For me to be put in a teaching position only multiplied this pressure x10. Annnd...for those who know me-- you also know that I tend to jump in and DO ALL THE THINGS. Also, leading training (about 60% of the time) also pulled me off my my ability to work on my skills...which only kept compounding the issue. I was trapped in a big nasty circle. Argh to the nth degree. And that's all I'm going to say.
Happy Notes- This group of women are SO SO amazing. They have come to my aide and my defense more than once and I truly feel that I am part of a real community. They are there to support me when I doubt myself. For an 8 month old team we are doing so many things right. There are so many different women who are willing step up and do whatever they need to do to make this league succeed. I have been able step back from coaching and really have refocused on myself as a skater first, and teacher (where the opportunity arrises) second. I really held myself to this idea last practice and I was able to truly enjoy practice for the first time in many many months. I'm on the right track. I can do this with the help of these wonderful ladies.
Tomorrow: Our very first bout. 13 SCAR dolls vs. the IRM Attackonites. Not mixer, a bout. ooof.
First- The Debs-
Debs will always be what made the dream come true for me. I will aways look back and think of Hanna and Tiki in such a bright light that I'm pretty sure nothing could ever diminish it. And while I know that it is highly unlikely that either of them will ever stumble across my unpublished blog--in the event that they do-- Hanna Belle Lector and Tiki Torture-- I hope you have even an inkling of an idea of how wonderful you are! Thank you for your patience and encouraging words (and yes--even your yelling) when my inner Flik thought she could push no harder. I owe so much to you.
There were also team mates who were always there to push and cheer me on. Above all others I can still hear MyrnaLush, Fannie T., BerNasty and Beretta. Thank you ladies. You each are responsible for getting me through one tough practice or another, I'm sure I didn't say it enough, but thank you.
And lastly, but certainly not leastly (I don't care that it's not a word). My friends. Derby is like a family and while I know that any of my 60+ teammates would pretty much drop anything and come to my aide- there was definitely a smaller niche of friends that I fell into. They will forever be my derby bff's. So to you- Willie, Amelie, Jessie and Rebel- I love you and miss you like mad. I'm so happy to have had you along on this journey. Thank you for pushing me, crying with me, and never dying with me. :D
Second- The SCAR Dolls-
Wow, where do I even begin? I have been through some great highs and some serious lows in our short 8 month existence. I initially joined SCAR because it was the closest league to me. I was obviously attracted by the fact that it was a real derby league (vs. a rec league) too. I quickly found that SCAR was not going to be at all what I expected. I went in thinking I would skate. This was foolish me. When 20 girls get together to start a league and I am one of two who have any sort of derby experience, I get thrusted into a teaching position. This is extremely uncomfortable of for me because I know in the grand scheme of things...I am just a baby derby player. There is SO MUCH that I need to learn and work on myself.
Those who know me well, know that I have always been extremely hard on myself. For me to be put in a teaching position only multiplied this pressure x10. Annnd...for those who know me-- you also know that I tend to jump in and DO ALL THE THINGS. Also, leading training (about 60% of the time) also pulled me off my my ability to work on my skills...which only kept compounding the issue. I was trapped in a big nasty circle. Argh to the nth degree. And that's all I'm going to say.
Happy Notes- This group of women are SO SO amazing. They have come to my aide and my defense more than once and I truly feel that I am part of a real community. They are there to support me when I doubt myself. For an 8 month old team we are doing so many things right. There are so many different women who are willing step up and do whatever they need to do to make this league succeed. I have been able step back from coaching and really have refocused on myself as a skater first, and teacher (where the opportunity arrises) second. I really held myself to this idea last practice and I was able to truly enjoy practice for the first time in many many months. I'm on the right track. I can do this with the help of these wonderful ladies.
Tomorrow: Our very first bout. 13 SCAR dolls vs. the IRM Attackonites. Not mixer, a bout. ooof.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
There is no crying in roller derby.
****6/6/12**** *** I found this draft that never got published. It encompasses something that I think all girls go through as they skate. It was humbling to read this. My low point in derby. May I never revisit.***
There is no crying in roller derby-
Except...sometimes there is.
A couple of weeks ago a former teammate asked when I was going to blog again. I promised her I would and so I shall. I hadn't updated mostly because I've just been lackadaisical about updating.
The thing is though- that I've also had less than ideal (straight up crappy) practices. That day, after being prompted about writing again, I hit my lowest point EVER at practice. I think I've just hit a major brick wall with my skills. We did many alley cat drills of one variation or another that day and I failed at all of them. This isn't the normal oh-Flik-is-being-hard-on-herself-fail. This is the I-couldn't-stay-on-my-feet-to-save-my-life fail. I fell when I was blocking and I fell when I was jamming. I sucked. I straight up sucked and my spirits were broken. I don't cry. Not at movies. Not at weddings. Not when things aren't great. Never.
I cried.
I skated into the hallway into a far of corner and just sobbed. I don't expect miracles. I don't expect to be a great derby player. I just ask that my body do what my mind asks it to do.
And so I skipped practice the week after that. And the week after that. And now I'm just in a bad place all together. I need to go back. I know I do. Here's hoping my feet carry me where my mind tells them to go. For once.
Thanks for reading F.T.
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